Does She Anything Like Me?
Reader Question:
I have been friends because of this woman for a time. She dumped the woman boyfriend. We've been texting much â like 200 communications a week. We hold acquiring combined signals from her, and I like the lady. Do I need to do it? But I don't wish ruin the relationship possibly. We additionally hang out, and I think she looks for me personally in places.
-Ivan S. Bently (Kansas)
Expert's Response:
Hi, Ivan. Thank you for trusting you with this particular vital private concern.
There is a large number of possibilities to describe what are you doing right here, but let me provide you with my "take." Firstly, you state she actually is delivering mixed indicators, which probably implies the woman is perplexed and not certain of just what she wishes.
She could still have views or expectations for all the union she merely remaining, or she might be available to manufacture an action. She can still maintain the healing process, and she may not be ready to be observed publicly with another guy however.
Texting can be her means of speaking out and connecting immediately while she completes psychologically disconnecting from the woman ex. She are often perplexed if her friendship for your needs sometimes seems likes it is developing into something larger, but she actually is undecided should you decide "like" like her.
As for you, Ivan, you're in a tremendously precarious spot right now. She actually is regarding rebound and requirements psychological help. She trusts both you and feels much better when she shares some messages or hangs aside along with you. She actively seeks you inside places because she wants you, in one single way or any other, and that is for which you need to be careful. If you place the relationship 1st above your interest in matchmaking the girl as a girlfriend, you are in really serious risk of getting directed towards the "friend region," that is a difficult destination to getting away from.
My guidance to you personally is to get as well as the girl and chat in person. It ought to be previous and smaller than a proper time, nonetheless it will give you a concept if she desires see you or not. Inform the lady she must get out and just take an hour or so to chuckle and luxuriate in herself therefore would really love the chance to consult with their in a little more range, also. Pick a spot where your buddies never go â possibly a Starbucks across town â so she'll feel like the woman privacy is being protected.
Ask their exactly how she actually is performing while the woman is genuinely finished with her ex. Spend extremely close attention to the woman body language. Is actually she bending closer or away? Is she big-eyed and smiling, or separated and careful? Is actually she acting "girly" or like somebody?
There is something else you must do: inform the lady in an exceedingly matter-of-fact way that you want her. Subsequently you should not say another word. This lady has getting the following anyone to talk. Look their straight in the eyes so she will visit your strength and your sincerity. Boldly and with confidence understand her neck or hands. Just be sure she knows you are searching for the woman in an intimate man-woman style of means.
Be powerful and kind but never psychological or eager. Make the lady want to come to you for the nurturing and comfy man you will be and not for the wonderful guy that is "safe" and ordinary. The woman true ideas and intentions should unveil themselves just like the discussion unfolds.
Go for it,
Nick
